let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I can't put those talents on a resume
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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