Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
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You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
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I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
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