so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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