You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
