i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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