i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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