have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
