meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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