I saw his package. It spoke to me.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
