You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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