NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
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i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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