i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i just had sex bonerless
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
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