I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
