Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
