I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize