why didn't you poke me back
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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