YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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