he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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