hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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