i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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