I want to stick my p in your. b.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i will never coherently bang her
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
