Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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