It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
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So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
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his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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