ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
