Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
