Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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