They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
