The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
