I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
