If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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