Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
