Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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