youre lurking in front of me
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
