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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.