At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
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Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
