At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
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Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
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HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.