Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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