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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.

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• (979): View more from Texas

  He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.

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• (310): View more from California

  Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.

  (818): View more from California

  Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (661): View more from California

  Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day

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• (518): View more from New York

  sex in a hospital.. check

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  best eviction party ever.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Good. The Jell-O shots look great.

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• (909): View more from California

  I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.

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