By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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