Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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