is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
