First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Can you bring me the toilet please
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Randomize
