I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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