i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
