The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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