Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she smelled like a LAN party
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
