My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
