I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
