I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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