Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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