If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
