The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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