My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i dont even know how to be here
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
