I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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