All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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