some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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