Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
