There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
