Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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