if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
