Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
