No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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