Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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